Jackpot
by
Sam Loschavio
Las Vegas! The very name conjures up visions of riches beyond one's dreams, world cruises, vacations in exclusive tropical havens, a villa in the Mediterranean with chauffeur, butler, and legions of servants, and gold-plated faucets in all five bathrooms truly a dolce vita life style. We left for our idyllic vacation, full of anticipation, expectation, naiveté and with our dream intact.
On arrival at Las Vegas we checked in at our hotel cum doorman decked out in a uniform with gold epaulets worthy of a banana republic general. Our room was well-appointed and worthy of a visiting dignitary. Our dream was well launched. We stepped outside to walk down the strip with its dazzling display of illuminated signs and glittering lights truly a fairyland where dreams come true. We had an early dinner in order to get to the casinos as quickly as possible. We plugged a few quarters into a slot machine almost within arm's reach of our table. We learned later that these machines are everywhere, well almost everywhere. There were none in the rest rooms and I wondered how the gambling moguls had missed that opportunity. I didn't mind losing a few quarters as this was just a warm-up period before the serious game.
After dinner we headed for the nearest casino. We had been given a hot tip that the best odds in the one-armed bandit category were in the $5.00 machines which paid bigger jackpots more frequently than the quarter machines. In less time than it takes to drink a bottle of beer in the desert we had dropped $100 into the jaws of this metallic monster. It paid back the princely sum of $5.00 two times during the play period. We realized the true meaning of the expression "one-armed bandit". The term is a misnomer because on the newer machines you don't have to pull down a lever. Instead you press buttons for greater convenience of customers so that they may win more quickly.
We watched a lady of indeterminate age with a cigarette dangling from her lip and large hoops from her ears playing two 25-cent machines simultaneously. In a 10-minute period she won several jackpots from each machine and her cups ranneth over with quarters. Her frequency of wins was substantially higher than ours at the $5.00 machine thus laying to rest the credibility of the hot tip we had received. Whether the lady was a ringer employed by the casino or was on a streak of good luck we do not know. Perhaps, had we stayed longer, we would have witnessed either a continuing winning streak or a cupful of emptiness.
We next tried a blackjack table where we won some and lost some and ended with a small loss. But the entertainment value lasted longer than it did at the slots. We went to another glittering casino but with a few misgivings about striking it rich.
Then it happened! The lights went dim and suddenly the slot machines started regurgitating coins and bills of every denomination. There was pandemonium. Cocktail servers, dealers, cashiers, croupiers, custodians, cleaners, and guards with guns drawn were running about like ants on a stepped on anthill. They joined the customers scrambling about on the floor filling their cups and pockets with this unexpected bonanza. It was never-ending. Bills were floating in the air and coins were spewing out of the slots like bullets out of machine guns. To be sociable we joined our American friends and filled every pocket. Everyone had gone berserk, including no doubt the owners of the casinos.
We proceeded outside and couldn't believe our eyes. Money seemed to be falling from the sky like the biblical manna from heaven. Closer observation revealed that it was coming from the roofs of high rise casinos on the strip. Vehicles were parked every which way on the streets while their owners were on their hands and knees grabbling money like kids picking up coins or candy at an old-fashioned wedding. One ingenious person had a butterfly net and was scooping the air like a lepidopterist collecting specimens. Not to be outdone by our American cousins, we rustled up a couple of paper bags and joined the treasure hunt outdoors until the bags were filled.
We returned to our hotel to hide our loot in our suitcases. There was no one in the lobby doing their jobs. The night manager, clerk, bell captain, security guard and cleaning staff were at the slot machines literally sucking up bills and coins with a couple of heavy duty vacuum cleaners that someone had commandeered from the housekeeping department. There were no guests checking in either. They were probably outside happily gathering money.
Local police were helpless, their cars hopelessly ensnared in the traffic gridlock. They did what any red-blooded American or Canadian would do. They joined the treasure hunters. It was truly a wondrous scene. But suddenly and sadly the miracle came to an abrupt end three hours after it had started. Despite the chaos of the past three hours there wasn't a single coin or bill on the floors of casinos or in the streets.
Everybody won big in spades if you will forgive the pun. Perhaps the miracle was an act of heavenly vengeance against the casino owners for the lop-sided odds that always favor the house. Perhaps it was just a high-tech glitch. No matter what the cause, we Canadians gained a special bonus because of the exchange rate. This was sweet vengeance for Canadians who have felt victimized on past trips outside Canada where everything is based on the American dollar.
Although we didn't pick up enough money to realize our dream of great riches, we had made a great start with a great jackpot plus bonus.