What if Julius Caesar
Had Been Forced to Retire at 65by
Harold Richman
In the year XMCIV, the Senate in Rome passed a law which stipulated that everyone must retire upon reaching age 65. The news was enthusiastically received by all the Romans. Since the life expectancy at the time was only 45, it became everyone's objective to live long enough to retire.
Everyone became involved in a fitness program of some type. You could see Romans jogging around the Coliseum and the Forum at all times of the day or night. Everyone also became interested in nutrition. This was when yogurt first became a fad. Eating wheat germ was also very popular. It was rumored that bran was the most healthy of foods but no one knew where to find it.
When Romans greeted each other, they now said, "Hope to see you at my retirement party."
The reply was, "You should live so long".
Of course a person's occupation had a great effect upon their life expectancy. One of the most hazardous occupations, strange as it may seem, was being a senator. Because there was a great deal of intrigue and new alliances were being formed at any time of the day or night, you could never be sure who your friends were.
Romans always carried a small curved dagger, called a sika, concealed in their togas. This dagger was often used to assassinate opponents. The word assassinate is an old Latin word indicating where the victim would be stabbed from behind.
One day, Caesar's wife, Pompeia, had some friends over for tea. Pompeia asked one of her friends to read her teacup. When she looked inside at the tea leaves, her face turned ashen. She said, "Things look very ominous".
Pompeia said, "You mean you see an Omen?"
"That's what ominous means."
"What is the Omen?"
"It says, 'Beware the Ides of March'."
Pompeia immediately sent her slave to find Julius Caesar. When her husband arrived, she repeated the Omen and warned him to 'Beware the Ides of March'. Julius said, "I must go to the Senate today because we're discussing a very serious matter that could lead to war with Sparta."
"Julie, please don't go! Julie, Please don't go!"
"If you are so concerned, I will summon Brutus, my most trusted follower. I will instruct him to always be directly behind me so I am sure that I will be perfectly safe from harm."
Unfortunately, Julius Caesar did not live long enough to retire.