On the whole, my husband and I agree on most issues, the big ones, anyway. It is the small, everyday conflicts that bring out the worst in both of us as we say unkind things and retreat into hurt silences.

Of all things, one of our biggest disagreements is over toothpaste. It is not the make, the taste, or the colour, not the size of the tube or the price that foments these antagonistic feelings. It is the way the contents of the tube are ejected and laid along the toothbrush bristles.

I believe in the easy way: unscrew the cap, point the nozzle at the brush and squeeze from the fattest part of the tube. This is the simple, efficient way. My husband, however, insists that the proper way (why does there have to be a proper way?) is to unscrew the tube, hold the nozzle just above the right hand side of the brush, squeeze gently and evenly from the base of the tube until you have ejected the right amount to cover the length of the bristles. He claims that because there is a dent in the middle of the tube made by my squeeze, the tooth paste does not come out evenly. I say, "Well, do it my way then."

It sounds ridiculous that two supposedly sane adults can bicker strenuously about such a simple matter, but it seems impossible to reach an amicable agreement. As the tube empties, his method becomes more and more difficult. Modern plastic tubes will not stay rolled up, whereas I squeeze wherever I see a swelling in the tube and the toothpaste comes out in a spurt and lands in the middle or one end of the brush. What does it matter which?

For some reason, we never thought of a solution to the problem, but our daughter did. She bought a tube for each of us, different brands, so there would be no mix-ups. My husband still mutters about my method but should be happy that he is master of his own tube and can squeeze from the bottom to his heart's content.

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