Granny's Advice

Dear Great Granny.

I am a nanny and I watch 2 boys. The oldest is 4 years old. The family just moved into a new neighborhood with a lot of kids. Most of them are older, but the closest boy is 5. The problem is this boy is very mean and rude. He treats the child I watch horribly.
How do I go about stopping this without taking away my boys only friend, or upsetting the other mother.
Thank you for any suggestions!!

Dear Nanny,

If that neighbour's child is indeed very mean and rude, I wouldn't say he was your little charge's friend. When you say "only friend" I think you mean only near neighbour. But surely you could widen the horizens a bit for the children in your care. And don't limit their potential friends to people their own exact age.

Children can make fast friencs in various age groups. I would like to see those two boys you are looking after become fast friends for eachother. Walk around the new neighbourhood looking for new things that they have never seen before and discuss these things with them. Help and encourage them to ask questions of new people they meet.

Take long walks going further and further afield, and use the question method with strangers, to break the ice and find out something about them. Ask directions. Ask them where they shop. Ask them where they mail letters. Ask them if they are using email, what ISP they use. Even if you don't need the answers, just asking people how to get somewhere will open a conversation.

Lots of people wish they could have more friends and aquaintances. Even if they seem to not be interested in your little boys, you never know - they might have been wanting to speak with them. Make it a game with the boys.

Pay absolutely no attention at all to that mean and rude child. One of these days soon he might want to befreind your boys and when that happens it will be on your terms. When he begins to act in an unsociable manner, teach "your" boys to get up quietly and move along to play with someone else, with eachother.and with you. Don't forget that you are the most valuable playmate they have just now.

Be one.

But for goodness sake don't try to teach that rude mean child how to act. That's somebody else's job and you can never change other people You can't even change the boys you are looking after. All you can do is show them by example how to be cheerful, loving, fair, fun and the kind of person that others like to be around.

Good luck
GG.

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